Statement from First 8 Memphis Regarding Tyre Nichols and Helping Children Understand the Complexities of this Moment
Today is heavy for many.
Tyre Nichols, a 29-year-old man and father died on January 10, 2023, three days after a brutal beating by five Memphis Police Department officers on January 7, 2023. Today, January 27th, the City of Memphis will be releasing video footage of the altercation. As leaders and conveners, First 8 Memphis expresses solidarity with the Memphis and Shelby County community.
Tyre Nichols was a father to a four-year-old child. Yesterday, during our Speaker Series event, we discussed the many amazing ways fathers improve children's school success. One of our panelists, Elyse Jones, Owner and Consultant of Parenting for the Culture, shared "[Empowering Black fathers] starts with us. We have to change how we view Black men. Stop assigning danger to them. We have to address our own biases." The discrimination, prejudice, stress and trauma we experience as adults are experienced by the children in our lives – our very children, and the children we care for in their homes, childcare, classrooms, libraries, and doctors offices.
We would like to share the following mental health resources with families, Black fathers, and young children.
Care for yourself: Children look to the adults in their life to tell them how safe they are. Parents and caregivers model how to handle stress and how to care for oneself. Do what helps you care for yourself – listen to music, pray, meditate, and reach out to family and friends – so that you can be there for the children you care about.
Tell children what is going on: People think that children are too young to understand what is happening in the world. But they know. Babies know when their caregiver is not responding to their cry, toddlers know when they are being shushed because their caregiver is stressed, and older children obviously know when their parents are stressed. We need to explain to kids – in a way they would understand – what is going on. It is also important to be honest and explain that you may not know when things will get better, but that you will be there for them as best you can.
Let children know what to expect: One thing we know about children is routine helps them know what to expect from the adults in their lives. Young children, especially those under the age of five, thrive on routine. Routine helps them understand what is happening next. It helps them feel calmer and more in control. If you have a routine to read to your children every night, keep going. If your children nap, pillow fight or watch a certain tv show every day, try to continue with that. Help them know what to expect.
Resources:
We hope these resources serve as a starting point to help children understand police brutality, the pain our community is feeling, and their individual family's response. We stand with Memphis during this time of urgency and need for real systems change!
In partnership with you,
First 8 Memphis
